Last Friday was my birthday and since we had a child free day dh & myself decided to go to lunch at a nearby beach side cafe. Friday was also the day that dh received delivery of his somewhat expensive 'hoon' car. Now, for all intensive purposes, it is a very nice car. It's fast, has a luxurious interior and well, looks Ok. Its just the colour I cannot get by (yes, the pic is the exact car, and that key lime green is another story all together).
Since his toy was brand spanking new, I let dh drive his car and listened politely at him gibbering all the way about his brand new pride and joy. I even refrained from making a smart comment when he insisted we park it right in front of the cafe so he could 'keep an eye on it.'
As we sat on the balcony enjoying our lunch, a three cheese souffle for me and lamb shanks for dh, I noticed him looking wistfully over my left shoulder. Since it was a cold, but sunny winter's day and we were across the road from the beach, I assumed he was enjoying the view of the rugged coastline, a view that was quintessential Sydney. How mistaken I was. When I asked him what he was looking at this was his response:
I am looking at my car thinking how about taking a photo of you draped over it in a bikini...'
Umm, WTF? I was stunned, and very confused. Should I be insulted or flattered? At my silence he elaborated.
But it has to be a black bikini, black would look the best against the green. It would look great in the garage. What do you think?
What do I think? I think my semi-intelligent husband has totally lost his mind. And even if I had a personal trainer and chef for six months, plus hair, make up and a spray tan on the day, I would NOT do it.
Since his toy was brand spanking new, I let dh drive his car and listened politely at him gibbering all the way about his brand new pride and joy. I even refrained from making a smart comment when he insisted we park it right in front of the cafe so he could 'keep an eye on it.'
As we sat on the balcony enjoying our lunch, a three cheese souffle for me and lamb shanks for dh, I noticed him looking wistfully over my left shoulder. Since it was a cold, but sunny winter's day and we were across the road from the beach, I assumed he was enjoying the view of the rugged coastline, a view that was quintessential Sydney. How mistaken I was. When I asked him what he was looking at this was his response:
I am looking at my car thinking how about taking a photo of you draped over it in a bikini...'
Umm, WTF? I was stunned, and very confused. Should I be insulted or flattered? At my silence he elaborated.
But it has to be a black bikini, black would look the best against the green. It would look great in the garage. What do you think?
What do I think? I think my semi-intelligent husband has totally lost his mind. And even if I had a personal trainer and chef for six months, plus hair, make up and a spray tan on the day, I would NOT do it.
Note to self: Ensure that current and future heros don't say such lecherous lines to heroine.
Sigh. While I can control what comes out of my hero's mouth on paper, in reality it's a whole different ball game.
OMG! Forgot to wish you a happy birthday!! Sorry, I lost track of the days with my stupid dramas. Anyway, hope you had a lovely day, Janette.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I can relate re the man and the car. My husband has finally bought his dream car after MONTHS of discussing it, researching it, and pondering it. It's not even a mid-life crisis car but a Toyota Highlander. Still, it has heated seats and he is sooooo happy. And yet, I never got any such comment about binkis from him! Hmmm, I think I'd be flattered. But then again, coming from a nearly 40 year old, maybe that's just me trying desperately to retain my fading youth. :-)
This was 18 months in the making. When our little one was about a month old we did about 7 trips to the dealer, only to have dh reject the car on delivery due to 'excessive swirl marks'. Granted, it was a black car and the marks were visable even to me and I am not really a picky person. Needless to say, this time there was a completely different dealer and I did not get dragged along.
ReplyDeleteFirstly... HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! How come hubby go the good pressie?!
ReplyDeleteSecondly... hilarious!! Thanks for a laugh. But... since I've seen you, I have to say I think you'd look stunning sprawled across the bonnet of such a hot car! Go for it girlfriend :)
Gotta love the fact that we can write what comes out of our heroes' mouths. I guess that's why romance novels are every woman's fantasy made real!
ReplyDeleteHappy, Happy Birthday (belatedly)!
ReplyDeleteRach - yeah I know. My birthday and he got the pressie, and my pressie from him is apparently 'still in transit'. It better be good whatever it is.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the birthday wishes all!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
ReplyDeleteAhh you made me laugh! I'm with Rach, drape yourself girl! Also, it reminds me to always, ALWAYS listen when men are talking :)
Love the story, Janette! - Although if I tried that stunt, I would leave a sizeable dent on the car...
ReplyDeleteJust thought I'd pop up here and say 'hallo' to another market researcher! Congrats if you manage this + child + job + writing M&B. The minute any work comes in, my writing has to go on hold. - Hope you are making better progress! - Chris
Hi Chris
ReplyDeleteLooks like i will not be going back to work for a while, so hopefully that leaves some time for writing!